Narcissus

17Feb11

Glancing into the pondwater,

I see not the water beneath

bursting with slippery life;

Nor the dark grey rocks

glistening with moss.

I see instead

an exquisite face!

Looking coyly out from its watery throne,

amused slightly;

deep brown curls roll splendidly

past two perfectly pink cheeks.

Full lips — like petals —

crown a smooth chin, shaped

by the gods.

 

But strange, isn’t it?

Strange

how a single drop of dew

from a lone leaf above,

falls brave and graceful

onto this proud beauty;

Dismembering it into ugly ripples

like welts and lacerations —

each more terrifying than the last.

The beauty flees.

And stillness reigns.

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42 Responses to “Narcissus”

  1. its has a great flow…the words take the reader thru a journey of where the poet wants the reader to go and use there imagination to c it play thru…greta work

    Here my link :http://mypoetrywriting.blogspot.com/2011/02/wait-we-waited-for-this-day-to-have.html

    • 2 Linn

      Thanks for stopping by, fellow poet! I’ll be checking that out now πŸ™‚

  2. It’s just fantastic! Marvellous! I’ve bookmarked it immediately. It’s a gem. An optical smogasbord! A glorious sleight of hand! A…a….ok, a bit excited but, my word, how delectable!

  3. Sorry, I’m back! You absolutely my onestop this next week, I implore you!

    • 6 Linn

      Haha! Aw thank you AGAIN for the comments! You are just too kind! I’m really glad you liked it; I did take quite a bit of time to get this one right… Hope you’re having a great rally so far! πŸ™‚

  4. Wonderful poem..So much beautiful imagery and with such a flow…
    Enjoyed very much..
    Here is mine
    http://poem-myworldofexcitement.blogspot.com/2011/02/poem49-to-be-free.html

  5. truly love this…
    lovely rhymes and imagery.

    Happy Rally.

    let me know after done 18 commenting…

  6. The ripples make the image an Echo of itself.

    • 12 Linn

      Oh, so you know the story of Echo and Narcissus as well? I really like that story, even if it is rather tragic…

  7. just like mine linn, just like mine haha! just in case you have not been, here’s my week 38 .. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/i-cant-hold-it/

    • 14 Linn

      Just read it… and loved it! Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚ Week 38 has been great so far!

  8. 15 belfastdavid

    πŸ™‚

    There is a story about a lion and his reflection in the water which I am struggling to remember – I shall have to go and look it up

    • 16 Linn

      Oh? Well, what inspired me to write this poem was the story of Echo and Narcissus:

      Echo was a talkative nymph who was punished by the Hera, Zeus’ wife — she could no longer talk but could only repeat what had been last spoken. One day, she saw Narcissus and instantly fell in love with the beautiful youth. However, Narcissus scorned her because she could not speak out her emotions adequately, having been cursed. Echo wasted away into the rock in misery and heartache, until only her voice could be heard, echoing throughout the hillside.

      Narcissus couldn’t care less for Echo and went on his way. He stopped by a pool of water to quench his thirst, but in doing so, caught sight of his reflection. He was enchanted and captivated by his own beauty. But every time he tried to kiss or embrace his reflection, the water would be disturbed and his reflection would flee. Unable to evoke any affection in return, Narcissus spent every moment gazing at his own reflection, until he too wasted away and died.

      Sad, no? You can see how this story managed to stir me up to write this poem… You can view a fuller, more descriptive version of this story here: http://thanasis.com/echo.htm

  9. So, hi and Happy Poets Rally – I hadn’t gotten to you on the list yet but came because of dear kolembo’s recommendation and she was right. This is fabulous and I did recognize the inspiration. Bravo! Fine work here. . .

    Poem on. Look forward to more from you, Linn.

    My Rally contritubution is here:
    http://musingbymoonlight.com/2011/02/16/heading-home/

    • 18 Linn

      Thank you so much for stopping by! I took ages writing the previous comment about the story of Echo and Narcissus πŸ˜€ I will be checking out your poem now πŸ™‚

  10. loved it so much . Great writing

  11. This is a beautifully written poem, I so enjoyed it. The inspiration of the Greek Gods ! Serve Narcissus right πŸ˜‰

    • 22 Linn

      I agree! Narcissus’ attitude really annoys me, but somehow I think there is a Narcissus in all of us πŸ˜‰ Thanks for reading!

  12. well looks aren’t eternal… what’s more important is one’s inside, the soul… lovely piece! πŸ™‚

    • 24 Linn

      Absolutely true! Unfortunately many including myself tend to work on improving our appearance too much rather than what’s on the inside… Thank you for stopping by πŸ™‚

  13. Beautiful.
    The flower called narcis also looks down, (into the water) hence the name.

    • 26 Linn

      Ooh, really! Wow I didn’t know that until you told me; glad to know another interesting connection… Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  14. “Full lips β€” like petals –crown a smooth chin, shaped by the Gods”. A terrific piece. The above quote REALLY did it for me, though.

  15. 31 Scent of my heart

    This is indeed very beautiful entry! I must agree with all lovely comments before me! Love your blog theme! It has the dreamy look I love to have around … Best regards!

    • 32 Linn

      Aw thank you! What a sweet comment, and yes, I’ll definitely be joining Poetry Potluck this week. See you around!

  16. 33 Scent of my heart

    Hi, How are you doing?

    I welcome you to week 23 poetry potluck at Jingle Poetry : http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/

    Always, we treasure your support and would be more than happy to see you share…

    The linkz will be open for submission 8pm, Sunday, American Central…theme related entries or unrelated entries are all welcome!

    Best Regards for your day.

    Week 23 Theme: Our Home, Temple and Sanctum

    xoxox

  17. I don’t know which I’m subscribed to! email me the http, I love visiting! This one came alright though….

    you know…I still have the image of that raindrop in my mind! Thought you might like this one from Australia;

    http://anotherlostshark.com/2011/02/21/deluge/

  18. 37 debi

    Such an apt description of narcissism all put together with flowing words. I enjoyed.

  19. Hi Linn,

    I have loved your poem.. the profound beauty of the way your imagination has taken a normal day to day experience or should i say incident and converted it into such an amazing beauty is spellbinding.

    Please check out my blog and provide your kind inputs as am new to this
    http://delphinethoughts.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/44/

    Many Thanks in Advance,
    Delphine

  20. Greetings:

    Hope all is well.

    Noting that you have been part of poets rally in the year of 2011,
    what an achievement, thanks for your outstanding contribution to us
    along the way, keep up the excellence. Best!

    Come join our poetry rally today if you wish to mingle and get inspired!

    A poem of your choice or a free verse is accepted.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

    Looking forward to seeing you share.
    Respect and hugs.
    xoxox


  1. 1 Thursday Poets Rally Week 38 (Feb 17-23) | Jingle
  2. 2 The Celebrate Poet of Spring in 2011 Awards Nomination Accouncement | Promising Poets' Parking Lot

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